Fantasy Football Do's

Welcome back.

This time I'm back with some things that are allowed - or even encouraged - in the semi-inaugural season of CRMFFL. Actually doing any of the following will result in the awarding of Schrutebucks. The player with the most Schrutebucks at the end of the season gets a friendly kick in the groin.

- Always comment when you see a cute puppy

- Post links to hot live pics of Scarlett, Elisha, either Jessica, etc...

- Think of a clever team name

- Consume the following: beer, chicken wings, pizza

- Make fun of others in the league

- Swear often: it makes you seem tough

- Feel free to make fun of Reggie Bush's propensity for chicks with a huge ass (Sorry, TBL)

- Wonder aloud during Saints games why Bush doesn't go for "Fuck Da Eagles Heather"

- Always offer the commissioner a tasty brew

Not much of a list, I know, but there are more important things at hand.

Last year we had an 8 team league that ended in madness. I won't go to far into it here, but I'm pretty sure the worst regular season team earned 2 victories and ended up winning in the playoffs. It was retarded all around. This year I want to get the number of teams up to at least 10. (Maybe even 12)

I'm going to assume I'll have the original 8 back for this season and I already have 4 of those confirmations. That leaves me with 4 spots. I'm going to say this now and see if it bites me in the ass in a few weeks... but who the fuck knows?

What I'm trying to say is...would you like to be a part of the league?

Before you jump to a decision, keep this is mind: I'll be using this very blog to write detailed breakdowns of every fantasy match up in the league every single week - on both Monday and Tuesday mornings. I'll be second guessing every GM. I'll be proclaiming teams dead online before the Sunday Night Football In America crew even starts to apply their makeup.

I mean, don't get me wrong - I'll be giving it to myself (Excuse me?) just as bad every week. Hell, I might even ask some of my friends in the league to write awful things about me to fill some space.

That's right! Guest bloggers! Unheard of for CRM, but it might need to be done in the name of checks and balances and all that good democratic shit.

On the downside, if you suck this year, it'll be out there on the internet forever. (Or until Y3K at least)

On the upside, if something cool* should happen in the fantasy world this year, it will be chronicled here forever and literally dozens of people will read about it.

Also, I'll be setting the league up on Yahoo! (Why are they so excited?) or Fox Sports this year (haven't decided yet) because we used ESPN last year and weren't too happy with all the InSider BullShit. Unless somebody wants to throw in a hundred bucks so everybody can see stats, we won't ever be going back.

Anyway, if you're interested in joining a real league*, e-mail me at alumnigonzo@gmail.com, or drop something in the comments, or use your powers of telepathy - whatever works best for your schedule.

Just remember, if you don't make it here - you'll probably end up in a much better league.

*A certain blond actress is so impressed by your fantasy exploits she shows up at your house in....well, a picture is worth a thousand words.

**CRMFFL is a keeper league using only kickers and TE's. We require a 5 year commitment.