UFC 77 Will Decide The Future Of Heavyweight Division

Franklin/Silva headlines but Vera/Sylvia is biggest fight of the night

Rich "Ace" Franklin vs. Anderson "The Spider" Silva
and
Brandon "The Truth" Vera vs. Tim "The Maine-iac" Sylvia

As a UFC fan - I'm absolutely geeked about tonight. Not only will I be rooting for Rich Franklin not to be made into a vegetable by Anderson Silva, but it's the long-awaited return to the Octagon by Brandon Vera. [Full Fight Card]

When last we saw Vera he was coming off a devastating KO of Frank Mir in UFC 65. That was last November. After that fight Vera was set up for a title shot against then-champ Sylvia. Problems with management kept him out of the octagon for the last 11 months, but now he's back and again a fight away from a shot at the belt.

The rumor is that the winner of Sylvia/Vera will have a title shot in early 2008. According to Yahoo! Sports/MMAjunkie.com:

The winner, provided he escapes without a serious injury, will fight for the vacant title in early 2008. Two scenarios have been discussed. In one, the winner would face the winner of the Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira-Cheick Kongo match taking place sometime this winter. The second is Nogueira and Kongo won’t fight, and Nogueira will face the Vera-Sylvia winner in the championship match.

Needless to say, this is a fairly big fight. Vera's skill and speed versus Sylvia's size and experience. The near future of the heavyweight division could very well be decided tonight. And a Vera win could decide the long-term future of the UFC's "biggest" division. Tonight we find out if the future is now.

UFC 77: Hostile Territory is tonight on Pay-Per-View at 10pm Eastern.

Saturday Morning Zamboni Ride: Penguin Relief Edition

Penguins 4, Hurricanes 3, SO

Perhaps they should have sent Pittsburgh and Syndney Crosby to New Orleans, because Crosby helped out plenty (2 assists and the deciding shootout goal) and the Penguins handled the Hurricanes in a shootout. (I promise that I won't use that joke much this season. Party because it's just wrong and party its not that funny. I'll try harder in the future.)

Anyway, this game actually featured an exciting shootout with the Pens going 3-3 to the Hurricanes' 2-3. If it makes anyone feel any better, Cam Ward feels like a real dick head for giving up all those goals.

Blue Jackets 3, Sabres 0

It was a sad night to be a Buffalo fan. CRM's favorite Who, Pascal Leclaire made 21 saves and Rick Nash had a goal and an assist. Congratulations Buffalo - you made Justin sad. (Yes, I live with a Buffalo fan. Incredible isn't it?)


Blackhawks 5, Avalanche 3

The 'Hawks jumped out to a 3-0 lead in the first period only to see 'Rado come all the way back before giving up a "down-and-dirty goalmouth tip-in" to Tuomo Ruutu with less than 2 minutes remaining. Now that is how we fucking talk hockey! How filthy does down-and-dirty goalmouth tip-in" sound? I think I saw that on Pornucopia: Going Down in the Valley.

Also, some people scored some goals in this one and Nikolai Khabibulin had 37 saves.

Kings 4, Canucks 2

Is it difficult to skate when you're setting the ice on fire? Just ask the Las Angeles Kings. That's right NHL - watch out! - the Kings are now 3-6! Yup, they've now won two (2) games on American ice this season. Well, this game was in Vancouver, so technically they've only one once in the US, but it's twice in North America now!

Fun fact: The Kings have now used 8 goalies through 9 games. You read that correctly. At their current pace they'll use 72 goalies this season and I'm guessing that would be a modern day record.

Jack Johnson scored his first career goal - which isn't surprising because his first career goal could have possibly been to make music for pussies.

The Ladies of T.G.I.F. Series Presents: Soleil Moon Frye

Okay, here's the deal boys and girls. (Mostly boys, because I doubt many ladies come here for the cheesecake)

We're running out of childhood memories here. Basically, TGIF in my mind is Full House (even though it ended up on Tuesday if I recall correctly) Family Matters, Perfect Strangers, Boy Meets World, Dinosaurs and Sabrina The Teenage Witch. Doing this every Friday means I'm going to have to start reaching.

I'm starting that reaching with Soleil Moon Frye who was on Sabrina The Teenage Witch long after I stopped watching it. (Yes, I watched Sabrina, I was a teenager without a girlfriend - fuck yourself)
Anyway, Soleil is the reason that - when I'm laying in my underwear flipping through channels on a Friday afternoon trying to veg-off a hangover - I'll pause on Sabrina now and then. She also played Punky Brewster which counts for something.

To tell you the truth, I have no recollection of the show Punky Brewster. I remember knowing "of" Punky Brewster, but don't remember watching it. Probably because it was on when I was between the ages of 2 and 6, but who cares. Here's another hot live pic!

Well that was fun.

Crowded Zamboni Rides Take Time

Fuck me! 9 games on the slate last night and I'm going to make fun of recap every cotton pickin' one of them! Since there's so many I'm going to put them up as I finish them. To start I'll give you a hot live pic. (as Justin would say)

Bruins 4, Lightning 1

Mmm hmm. I reckon them thar goals ain’t goin in my net…mmm hmm. mmmmmm That there puck don’t feel too good when it hits my belly mmm I sure do like stopping them shots mmm hmm After the game I reckon I’ll have some taters and a soder.

Flyers 4, Devils 0

Martin Biron is the ultimate in shot stopping technology. He is superior to you and I in every conceivable way. The Flyer goalie had 38 saves. I mean seriously, don’t even bother trying to date his daughter. It’s pointless. You won’t score. It was his second straight shutout. It was the 4^th straight win for the Flyers. Mike Richards, Sami Kapeanen, Jim Dowd and Joffrey Lupul all scored for Philly. As for New Jersey? Well my mother always told me that if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t point out how shitty a team played.

Thrashers 5, Rangers 3

Hold up. Atlanta won a game? Really? Wow. Against who? New York? Seriously? Yes, I’m laughing. Because it’s funny. Atlanta sucks – in every sport. (That's me if someone called me on the phone and told me about this game)

Seriously, a guy with no file photo on NHL.com scored the game winner. Vyacheslav Kozlov overcame a funny name to score a goal last night. Also, there were a ton of penalties in the third, so I’m guessing the Rangers’ frustration of being killed by a team with no wins started to show.

Maple Leafs 3, Panthers 2

Florida jumped out to a 2-0 lead in the first and then they let the Leafs score the last 3. Nik Antropov scored the game winner in the third for Toronto. Vesa Toskala was the first star of the game because he stopped sucking and didn’t let the game get out of hand. Toronto is 3-3-2 on the year. I have a Maple Leafs shirt and I think I’ll put it on when I get home.

Senators 4, Canadiens 3

Now this is fucking hockey. Two Canadian teams. A 4-3 puck-game. Ott-ow-ah and the incomparable Martin Gerber over up and comer Carey Price of Montreal. Daniel Alfredsson had 3 goals and rookie Nick foligno scored his first career goal and jumped in celebration the way his father Mike used to. People who have been following hockey a lot longer than me found this amusing. I think it even made SportsCenter which is probably the most amazing thing this kid will ever accomplish.

Flames 4, Kings 3

Daymond Langkow scored two times and gets a gold star for his efforts. Mike Cammalleri, Dustin Brown and Anze Kopitar scored for LA which has lost six of seven games. And yes, to answer your question I did just steal basically that entire sentence from the NHL.com recap. Give me a break, there’s like 9 freaking games to recap and I can’t constantly make up goofy shit. I’m not your fucking dancing monkey!

Islanders 5, Capitals 2

I saved this game for further down the post so that I could spread out pictures of the hot chicks. Bill Guerin scored his first goal as an Islander. Then he added a couple more just in case anyone had a problem with the first one. I’m just glad he hasn’t bludgeoned himself with his stick from hearing those an

noying Long Island accidents. Rick Dipietro – the sexiest man in New York (sorry Eli Manning) – got the win. Yup, he's probably had both of them.

Oilers 4, Coyotes 2

Dwayne Roloson naorrowly escaped Chris Hansen in time to contribute to the Edmonton win by stopping 39 of 41 shots. Seriously, Dwayne. I think it’s time for a new picture buddy. With a picture like that I don’t think kids can legally sit in the front row. I hope Edmonton has a good backup in case any of the stadiums they play in are near an elementary school.

Red Wings 4, Sharks 2

This game makes me think of my gay little childhood. My grandparents were huge Red Wings fans. They had season tickets behind the goal for the AHL’s Adirondack Red Wings. But I also liked teal. So I kind of liked the Sharks. Yup, the Marlins, Hornets and Sharks.

Now that that’s out of the way.

Chris “The Vinny Testaverde of hockey” Osgood was the winning goaltender and Matt Ellis scored the game winner for the Wings. Osgood stopped 23 of 25 shots sent his way.

"PINKS" Not As Sexy As One Would Assume

One thing I never mentioned beyond a passing comment was that I went to a taping of "Pinks" last Friday night. I know what you're thinking, but no, it did not have anything to do with naked women. (insert sad face)

Apparently, Pinks is a show on SPEEDtv. (Time Warner Cable digital channel 665!) It features "people" racing their "souped up" "rides" for "pinks."

In CRM lingo the above sentence can be translated thusly: "And it features assholes racing their dumb cars with the winning asshole walking/driving away with the losing asshole's car."

Truth be told, it was a good time.

Despite the first sub-50-degree temperatures of the year it was fun.

My only complaint? We weren't sure if we could bring booze. So I ended up rolling in with nothing but a 12-pack of Genny. Luckily when I ran out I found that the refreshment stand was selling Budweiser and Coors cans for $2.50 a pop. (When you're at a car race in Lebanon, New York - this = great deal.)

When I went to take my first piss of the night (That's literary magic right there, kids.) I found the restroom to have no lights and a broken window. There is nothing - I repeat nothing - more exciting than pissing in a stall in a dark room with a bunch of guys who've been drinking Bud for the last 4 hours.

Now, to those of you who don't know me in real life - I'm not a "car guy." So when I got into a conversation about something (I have no idea) with some old guy waiting for more Bud, I had to fake interest in what we were seeing.

Old Guy: "Shame about that Chevelle, huh?"

What I said: "Oh yeah - it was the faster car though."
What I thought: "Go away, sir. I have no clue which was the truck and which was the car."

What else?

Oh yeah. I won a Time Warner Cable bandanna by spinning a wheel. It was like I was on Wheel of Fortune, except I won a shitty bandanna.

Yup, that's my "what the hell just happened?" look after the first race. Basically, the first couple hours were were there, we had no clue what was going on. Lauren as you can see is having a good dream - probably about dating someone not drinking Genny while wearing a bandanna. By the way she's wearing about 4 jackets in this picture.

Also, you can't see it, but I'm sporting a Utica Club t-shirt under my jacket. I'm hoping to get on the show flashing it. Maybe I'll end up with some complimentary UC. And if you're wondering if this is just an attempt for me to mention all the shitty cheap beers I drink - you're right.

Thursday's Zamboni Ride Is Less Crowded Than Last Week's

Stars 3, Blue Jackets 2, SO

Jussi Jokinen scored twice – once in regulation and once in a shootout to help the Stars beat the BJ’s. (and nothing can beat a BJ) Rick Nash had a goal and assist for the Coats. Mike Smith stopped 33 of 35 in the crease for the win.

Ducks 3, Predators 1

Pietteri Wirtanen and Drew Miller each scored their first career NHL goals last night. Wirtanen recently finished a tour with Panic! At The Disco. (He just died his hair and lost the eye shadow) Jean-Sebastien Giguere had 28 saves and then fed soup to a sick child. Nashville is 2-4-0 on the year and still hasn’t changed their fucking mascot to a blood-thirsty killing machine from space.

Devils 5, Penguins 4

This was a tense one my friends. I know because I watched it. I know, I know. Actually watching a game doesn’t seem like something I would do because I might actually know what happened, but I did it anyway. See, the refs kept screwing the Pens with moose-shit calls, eh. Then one of those fucking hosers from New Jersey fed Sid The Kid an elbow and we know what that means: he gets his fucking head bounced off the boards. Then the pussy refs stepped in before there was any fists thrown. Fuckin’ eh.* Oh yeah, a bullshit too many

men on the ice call took a goal away from my boy Evgeni Malkin in the second.

Blues 3, Blackhawks 1

In a battle of goalies I’ve actually heard of Manny Legace and Nikolai Khabibulin…well, I don’t have a way to end that sentence. I was just surprised I was able to pronounce everybody’s name there, eh? And why does it always sound like everything is a question with Canadians? Eh? It just sounds like they’re posing a question. What’s that all aboot, Erin?

Oh yeah, Keith Tkachuck had a goal and assist. Good for him.

*I realize that no Canadian teams played last night, but that doesn’t mean watching hockey doesn’t make you talk like that. And it also doesn’t mean I can’t post this picture of these Oilers fans. I don’t know what happened to the rest of their t-shirts and I don’t really care.

Fashion Update: As Jarrett pointed out, the young lady to your left (my right) has a very short skirt. Further examination of the picture shows us way too much negative space above the heads of these girls and to the sides. If I could give this young photographer advice it would be to rotate the camera 90-degrees so as to get full body shots. Of course, that's easy for me to say, I'm not the one attempting to take a picture while trying to hiding an erection.

Traffic Update: Thanks to TBL for sending everybody here. Since these scores are a day old, I guess I'll add another Oilers fan for your viewing pleasure. This is why we have the ability to edit and update...am I right?

(Both pictures lifted from All Canadian Hockey dot com)

Humpday Morning Zamboni Ride

Flyers 4, Thrashers 0

Mike Richards, Jeff Carter, and Sami Kapanen all scored 2^nd period goals for the Flyers. Then just to be an asshole, Randy Jones added another in the 3^rd. Atlanta had 31 shots on goal but apparently that wasn’t enough to bore Martin Biron as he shut out the 0-6-0 Thrashers. You know what the NHL could use? Expansion. If there aren’t 40 NHL cities out there, then I just don’t know America any more.

Panthers 2, Canadiens 1, SO

In what is probably the biggest upset since I passed on a 5^th slice of pizza, a team from Florida beat a team from Canada – called the Canadiens! Montreal scored early (Alex Kovalev in the 1^st) and Florida scored late (Nathan Horton with 10.2 seconds left in regulation!) to force overtime and eventually a shootout. Jozef “Cheddar Cheese” Stumpel scored the lone shootout goal to give Florida the win. Tomas Vokoun made 36 saves. After the game Olli Jokinen gave Vokoun a congratulatory pat on the ass that lingered just a few moments too long. Vokoun has since moved his locker.

Avalanche 5, Flames 4, SO

In the only hockey game SportsCenter covered today, Colorado squeaked by Calgary in a shootout as indicated in the score above. Ryan Smyth had a goal, an assist, and the deciding SO goal for the ‘lanche. (I just made that up). Calgary was up 4-0 after Jarome Iginla scored at the 2:50 mark in the second. The Flames then napped through the rest of the period and let ‘Rado (just made that one up too) back int eh game. Both teams were convinced the fans couldn’t handle any more excitement in regulation so they too the 3^rd period off before come back for overtime.

Kings 4, Wild 3, SO

This game didn’t really happen. It was simulated on NHL 2008 by back up netminders Josh Harding and Jason LaBarbera. Personally, I would hate to see the Wild miss the playoffs because of a shootout loss in a video game. It compromises the integrity of the sport.

Hey, Isn't There A UFC Fight This Weekend?

We are a few short days away...





Oooooh boy.

Notre Dame Football Is Having A Good Year

Found this over at College Humor.



I just have to appreciate the genius.

(Sorry, Kyle)

Update: For more Notre Dame bashing With Leather found video of a spoof Saturday Night Live did last weekend.

Tuesday Morning Zamboni Ride

Ducks 6, Red Wings 3

Samuel Pahlsson scored the short-handed GAGW in the middle of the third and the formerly Mighty Ducks move to 3-4-1 on the season. Dominik Hasek gave up 5 goals and was booed mercilessly by his children over the phone after the game. Luckily the laughter was in a funny Czechoslovakian accent which really lightened the mood for everyone involved.

Sabres 5, Maple Leafs 4, OT

I didn’t watch this game, but from the box score it looks like it might have been the most exciting hockey game ever. Let me break it down for you. The Leafs were up 2-0 going into the 3^rd quarter period before Buffalo scored 2 goals in the 8^th minute to tie the game. Then the Toronto’s Chad Kilger said “Fuck you guys” and scored 2 minutes later. Then Buffalo’s Thomas Vanek said, “No, fuck you” and tied the game again 3 minutes later. Then Chad Kilger said, “No! Fuck you!” and scored 25 seconds after that putting the Syrup Leaves back on top. Then Jochen Hecht said, “Excuse me fellows, but I’d also like to score this period” and did just what he said he desired. That goal forced overtime where Ales Kotalik scored a goal to complete the zany triple-come from behind victory.

Buffalo took 20 shots in the 3^rd and Toronto only took 5. Neither goalie got any credit for saves in the third period because were in the locker room playing Guitar Hero against each other. Andrew Raycroft beat Jocelyn Thibault 175,309 to 169,989 on Medium. (Free Bird)

Sharks 4, Canucks 2

This was a match-up of two very angry looking aquatic-based mascots. Joe Thornton scored a goal and had two helpers for San Jose. (Spanish for “Without Joe”) Jonathon Cheechoo has a fun name to say (and type) and he scored a goal, so that’s cool.

There were no goals or assists in the first period.

Evgeni Nabokov had 24 saves and an assist in the win.

As per CRM guidelines, I must post anything BradyFan83 ever does. In his latest installment pot smoker/female impregnater, Travis Henry gets the treatment.



(Via With Leather)

The guy can do no wrong.

Praise (Purple) Jesus!

The following people do not need to go fuck themselves today. Please stand up and accept your congratulatory high fives.

David Garrard – you were precision in motion my friend. I appreciate your small, yet effective statistical achievements. You have a standing roster spot on my fantasy team for the rest of the season.

Randy Moss – It’s not your fault they called that bullshit pass interference call on you late in the game or they took away that other touchdown earlier despite the fact that it looked like you dragged your second foot or that Tom Brady is obviously racist for throwing Wes Welker all those passes. Sure I have Brady and Welker in my other league and they helped me score the most points anyone has scored in that league all year, but they could have done a little less and I still would have been fine. Fucking crackers.

Bernard Berrian – You have constantly over-come shitty quarterbacks to get receptions and this week you actually caught a touchdown pass. It was the first time all year I’ve been glad to have you on my team.

Larry Johnson – A 100 yard game and a touchdown? What is this, 2006? Thanks buddy. This is the first time all season that I’ve said your name without adding “can suck my fucking dick” to the end of it. Good job!

Stephen Gostkowski – You were perfect yet again. Too bad you have a dickhead for a head coach. Seriously, buddy – if you shanked one off his temple and he collapsed during practice, I won’t mind!

Finally, ladies and gentlemen. Please rise. You know his name. You know how fucking great he is. You want to crown him? Go right a head. He is n

ot mere man – he is more than all of us. He is the one true Violet Savior. He is…

Purple Jesus

Words can not describe what the numbers can...

20 Carries

224 Rushing Yards

3 Rushing Touchdowns (67, 73, 35)

1 Reception

9 Receiving Yards

4 Kick Returns

128 Return Yards

1 Major Fantasy Bonner

1 Fifty-Three Yard Kick Return To Set Up The Game Winning Field Goal In The Last Minute

361 All-Purpose-Fuck-You-Up-Rookie-Of-The-Year-There's-No-Fucking-Way-My-

Team-Is-Loosing-This-Game-Yards

Monday Morning Zamboni Ride

Wild 2, Ducks 0

Josh Harding is not easily amused by your shots on goal. He turns them away with the flick of a wrist and bat of one of this dreamy eyes. Just forget about sex on the first date, because Josh Harding does not allow anyone to score. Brian Rolston and Mark Parrish each scored a goal in attempts to impress Josh Harding yet still went home alone.

Red Wings 4, Kings 1

Henrik Zetterberg had a goal and 2 assists for Detroit. The Kings have yet to win on this continent this season. Since their season opening win in London, they have dropped 5 straight. A 1-5-0 they currently sit atop the division. Wait. No. 1-5 isn't very good at all. They are actually at the bottom of their division. Poor bastards. I wonder if they'll ever win again? Hopefully!

A Fucking Ode To Those Involved In My Fantasy Week

Hey, Kurt Warner. Yeah, you. Fuck you, you brittle old fuck. Stick that cane up your asshole you old bitch. Jesus can’t save you now you son of a bitch. I hope your dyke wife gets hit by a fucking bus.

You take Matt Leinart’s fucking job after he gets hurt and what do you do? You go in and break your fucking hip. Suck my cock you piece of shit. So you complete 2 passes, fumble the fucking ball and then get injured. Thanks, asshole. All you had to do was not drop the ball on the dance floor like the slut you are. -1.2 points. Thanks cocksucker. I really appreciate it. All I had to do was start Daunte Culpepper. He of the 2 interceptions and 1 fumble. He had the decency to not get fucking hurt. I hope you end up back in the arena league getting your head bounced off the fucking wall 60 minutes a day. I hope Joey Porter sees you at a casino and facemask fucks you. Fuck you.

Hey Reggie Bush. Yeah, you. Fuck you, you skank fucking piece of shit. I hope Kim Kardashian gives you fucking Chlamydia. I hope you remember every time you touch her that Hugh Hefners wrinkled old balls have rested on her chin you cunt. Thanks for that great cock tease of a first half, dickfuck. Thanks for those 9 second half rushing yards and and 2 second half receiving yards. And that fumble? Fan-fucking-tastic you cochwhore. I hope the same thing that happened to your city happens to your knee. How about you stick it in the endzone for once? I mean, I’m really happy that your shitty team actually won a fucking game, but guess what asshole? Yeah, your season is over. Slut. I’m not saying 1-4 isn’t a good record, but you and Duece McAllister can take a flying fuck out an airplane with a screen door on a short pier, dickbag.

Oh hey there Bill Belichick. Fuck you. Asshat. Good thing you went for that touchdown with 2 fucking seconds left. There was a good chance the Cowboys were about to march down the field for 3 consecutive touchdowns in the last minute of the game if you didn’t go for it on 4^th and goal there. Fuck you, you sweatshirt wearing ass clown. God fucking forbid you let your kicker kick a fucking field goal when the game has already been decided. That would be laying down wouldn’t it? Can’t show any fucking weakness right? Better score a fucking touchdown with a 14 point lead in the last minute of a game that is fucking over you cock sucking bastard. I hope someday a husband comes home from work to find you with your dick in his wife (as you’ve been known to do) and he takes out his fucking shotgun. It’s called a crime of passion and I’ll be there to punch every single Patriots fan in the face that mourns the loss of the greatest asshole of a coach that the NFL has ever seen.

Hey, Baltimore Ravens and everyone who fucking covers them. What’s up? Fuck you, that’s what’s up. Holy shit! Would it be possible that if your starting tight end was going to not play – someone could maybe fucking say something. You know what? Next Sunday, I’m going to call Todd Heap’s fucking mother. I’m going to say, “Excuse me, Mrs. Heap? Hi, my name is Stephen Douglas. Yeah, I have your son, Todd – yes, that’s right, the professional football player – I have Todd on my fantasy team. Well yes, that’s what I’m calling you about Mrs. Heap. See, I was just wondering if he was going to play today in the game that he is supposed to play in. Has he mentioned anything to you, because he’s sat out the last two weeks without anyone saying a fucking word and I was just tired of the little detail of ‘is he playing or not’ fuck me in the ass until I bleed from my ears. Oh, he isn’t playing? Thanks. I figured if anyone would know it would be you. Not one of the millions of people who cover shit like this for their jobs. Oh yeah, I’m really glad he was able to practice Friday. That’s when he makes his money, am I right? Heh heh. Oh no. I don’t blame him. I mean I’m sure he wants to play. He’s a gamer. A tough mother f’er you know….

Oh, I’m sorry Mrs. Heap. It turns out your son did actually play! My apologies. He left the game in the first quarter due to a strained hamstring! Well guess what? Fuck you and your pussy son! He couldn’t catch one fucking seam pass before he went down like a little girl? Yeah, that’s right Mrs. Heap – right in your fucking ear!”

There Is No Sunday Zamboni Ride

I sat down at 3 o'clock to write a Zamboni ride post. I really did. My intentions were pure.

Then I hit up NHL.com to see what was what - only to find there were 13 games last night. Well, I'm sorry, but I've had a couple beers and I'm watching football so precedent must come into play.

If you want to know what happened last night in the world of the NHL, here you go.

I'll be back with full NHL coverage tomorrow morning, but for now you'll have to settle for a recap of the Albany River Rats home opener.

Norfolk Admirals 2, Albany River Rats 1, Shoot-out

Both regulation goals came in 5 on 3 situations as Ryan Munce turned away 36 of 37 shots for the Admirals. The real story of the game was me ripping a hole in my jeans that went from my belt line to below my knee. Yeah, you read that right.

I had a small hole in my jeans that opened up like the Jets offensive line when I stepped over a row to get to my seat. I immediately felt a draft. Needless to say I felt like a fat jackass. First of all I ripped a football sized hole in my jeans. On top of that I looked like a fucking retard.

Since only fat people rip jeans, Lauren made me go for a run this morning. Don't worry though - as soon as we got home I ate a sandwhich, a bag of pepperoni and drank an Octoberfest. Try and control my body image will you!?

Shit I hope she doesn't read this. My ass will end up blogging from a treadmill.

Anyway, the game was entertaining. There was a fight between one of the Admirals giant D-men and one of the River Rats normal-sized hockey players. The big disappointment of the night was that we didn't get to see this monster fight. Dude's built like a fucking power forward.

Anyway, it was a good time. Hopefully we get to see a win next time.