Wednesday, July 16, 2008

New Orleans Hornets Crowned 2008-2009 NBA Champions With Signing Of James Posey!

Young Champ.

Holy crap! Did you guys hear the Hornets signed James Posey? Wow!

Posey averaged 7.4 points, 4.4 rebounds and 1.5 assists last year for the Celtics.

He does that every game?

/Eyes widen

Every single game!?

/mouth agape

Oh, boy! Looks like we can engrave the trophy right now. Not only does Posey score upwards of 7 points a game, but he hands out nearly 2 assists in every contest.

Of course James Posey is one of those players that transcends statistics. Posey leadership skills and other intangibles have helped to lead the Miami Heat and Boston Celtics to championships in the past few years.

"Hustle wins games, but I win championships" - James Posey

Posey carried the Heat to the 06-07 title, averaging 7.3 ppg, 5.7 rpg and .9 apg. Posey showed a willingness to let his teammates try and win games that post season by teach a young unproven Dwayne Wade how to win. Wade used Posey's lessons to score 28 points a game that post season. Posey's intangibles also helped Wade to shoot 250 free throws during the course of post season play. Shaquille O'Neal has often said that the championship he won with the Heat was the easiest because he just had to - and I quote - "Sit back and watch James Posey do this thang."

Celebrating the first of two what will be many titles.

Just two short seasons after Posey showed the Heat how to win, he went to Boston where he redefined the careers of three perennial all-stars. Ray Allen, Paul Pierce and Kevin Garnett were three popular players who just couldn't win the big one until they were allowed to play with James Posey.

Hopefully Inevitably, Posey will now take the New Orleans Hornets to the promised land. Posey, who signed a 4-year, $25 million contract today, will surely help Chris Paul reach his potential. Posey's ability to hit a wide open jump shot 3 to 4 times a game (!) will surely help Paul get over the hump and win his first MVP award.

I'm going to book a plane ticket and hotel for New Orleans next June so I can celebrate James Posey's 3rd championship. That is, once the Hornets have completed the sweep or whatever loser team from the Eastern Conference didn't sign James Posey.

Ha! ha ha ha

/falls out of chair laughing

Sorry. I just went into a laughing fit thinking about the fatal flaw that 29 franchises have - They had the opportunity to sign James Posey and they didn't. Fools!

The Memphis Grizzlies proved to be the worst franchise in the history of sports when they failed to win a championship despite the fact that James Posey played for them. Oh.. and the same goes for the Nuggets and Rockets too. In a completely unrelated coincidence, these teams didn't feature any future Hall-of-Famers, either.

It's going to be so sweet when the Hornets win the championship next year. It definitely wouldn't be because the Hornets were a year older, wiser and better. It will be because of the influence a career journeyman (This is his 6th team in 10 seasons!) who happened to luck into two great situations because he fit under the cap and can defend and hit open jumpers.

Now that Posey has signed with a team that many thought could win the title last year in their first year in the playoffs, I'm sure he'll teach us all what it takes to win all over again.

6 comments:

Cloverfield Monster said...

Holy crap!

How do you spell Dynasty? I'll tell you how: P-O-S-E-Y

Webmaster said...

CRM good stuff, but we need to teach you some subtlety when you go the satire route, it goes a long way!!

And I won't be on hand for your Elite XC in two weeks, I'll be fumbling through a best man speech at that time. Damn it!

MikeyCHX said...

i should comment here more, i enjoy your shit on TBL....but posey was about the most automatic three since Steve Kerr

JB said...

James Posey, Mr. Impact. Have you SEEN the way he waves that towel from the bench?

BGdula said...

How many sarcastic pills did you take this morning?

And to think, Jeff Van Gundy was just getting settled into his stocking routine up in Boston. Time to re-locate.

Bambi said...

Great work.