The Ladies of TGIF Series Presents: Angela Watson

Karen Foster - what a babe.Was Karen really hotter than Dana? I say no, but that's what we were supposed to believe. Angela Watson can now be found somewhere doing something. However, I have no idea where that somewhere is or what that something might be.

So Lost Was Fairly Good Tonight

Tonight we had a Kate episode which is always nice.

Just...wow.

(I really wish I had a better excuse to post this picture, but I don't.)

She said Aaron - That means...of the Oceanic 6 8 6 ?, you can count out Claire. At the very least you have to weep for Emilie de Ravin.

Thus far we have Jack, Kate, Hurley, Sayid....

and Aaron(?), Ben(?)...

I disagree with the notion that you can count out Ben and Aaron because they weren't on the plane.

My mind is too blown I'm too drunk right now to completely contemplate what just happened. I just felt I should share that Evangeline Lilly picture.

Photographic Update:

Since TBL threw up a link I figured I might as well add something here. Some people are saying that Claire has leapfrogged Kate in the Female LOSTies Power Rankings this season. I don't know how I feel about that - though I will admit it's a fierce competition. Either way, I'm sticking with Kate.

The Writers' Strike Is Over!: FOX

As you probably know by now, the writers' strike has come to a close. That means it's time to gear up for new episodes of some of your favorite shows. Luckily, The New York Times didn't just give us updates on our favorite shows - they also let us know what was happening with shows that you hate or didn't even know existed. That's where I come in.

So far we've taken a look at ABC (Part 1 and 2) and CBS (Part 1 and 2). Today: CW FOX.

24 - "Off the schedule" "Officially postponed until sometime next season"
How exciting for fans of Jack Bauer. (Where are my car keys!?) The writers' strike meant nothing to them. Hmm...let's take a look at the cast list...oooh! A half-assed excuse to post a picture of Elisha Cuthbert! Bonus: 24: Hour Pizza Delivery

American Dad! - "Unknown number of episodes remain" " "
I'm going to warn you - if you expected any good information about any of the shows on FOX you're going to be disappointed. Just watch:

Back To You - "Two episodes remain; may air in February" "Fate is unclear"

Bones - "Four episodes remain; will air in spring" "Unclear whether additional episodes will be produced for this season"

Canterbury's Law - "Premieres April 14" " "

Family Guy - "Unknown number of episodes remain" " "

House - "Repeats air on Fridays" "Not likely to broadcast new episodes until late April or early May"

King of the Hill - "Unknown number of episodes remain" " "

New Amsterdam - "Premieres March 4" " "

Prison Break - "Two original episodes remain" "Fate is unclear"

The Simpsons - " Fourteen episodes remain" " "

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles - "New episodes through March 3" "If renewed, will not return until the fall"

'Til Death - "Premieres March 14" " "

As you can see, FOX has no idea what the eff is going on on its own back lot. On some shows they don't even know how many episodes they have left. They can't make a call and ask someone to count?

Personally, I'm excited for House. Lauren and I have been watching back-cataloged episodes purchasing DVD's, Hollywood video, Netflix, (the now-defunct) TV Links and other streaming sources, but we did it. Not having new episodes of House is a tough thing to get used to.

As for the newer FOX series:

I couldn't recall what Back To You was until I viewed the IMDB page and immediately remembered that it was Kelsey Grammer and Patricia Heaton's triumphant return(s) to sitcom land. Just kidding - that show looks terrible. It also features Fred Willard which really means nothing. Bonus: Not that I've even pretended to keep with the same format, but did I mention Robbie Williams' girl Ayda Field? I should have.

New Amsterdam sounds like a winner: "A New York homicide detective is cursed with immortality."

Concerining 'Til Death: Brad Garret will hopefully be put down soon.

The Terminator show stars Lena Headey from 300.

Sarah Connor Chronicle's Summer Glau

Yesterday Was Pretty Freaking Big

Sienna Miller: As you'll see, we were both pretty big deals yesterday.

I learned a little something about the internet yesterday: Sports Illustrated is a monster. (A good kind of monster. Kind of like how Dwight Howard is a monster)

I'd never really thought about SI's place in the blogosphere until their - and I mean this as a compliment - bloggish/Page 2ish part of the website Extra Mustard gave me a link in their Hot Clicks. (4th item down)

Now with screen capture!

After that went up, this little blog was seen by more people than ever before. And believe me, I had no idea just how small this blog really is. I got a month's worth of visits yesterday. It was freaking massive. And they're still coming.

Just thought this warrants mentioning. It also gave me an excuse to post a Sienna Miller picture, so I think we're all winners here. my ascent

The Writers' Strike Is Over!: CBS Part II

This afternoon we continue on with "The Writers' Strike Is Over!" series. Today, CBS Part 2. (Part I) While I was putting this together I found two interesting things. The first being that I'm in my mid-twenties I'd never Googled Raquel Welch before today. Consider me enlightened. The second is something I'm even more excited about...but it deserves it's own post. So for now, find out what the old people are going to be watching now that the writers' strike has come to a close.


New Adventures of Old Christine - "Premiered Feb 4" "Future is much in doubt"
Another "hit" show that I've never seen. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for a Seinfeld alum finally doing something besides edgy comedy, but I just don't care about this show. CBS should have her do a show as Maggie Lizer (As in Maggie Lizer-ass off). It could be an offshoot of the CSI series(es). Bonus: Julia Louis-Dreyfus

NUMB3RS - "Final original episode airs Jan. 18" "Expected to shoot several new episodes soon"
The plot outline via IMDB: " Working for the FBI, a mathematician uses equations to help solve various crimes."
After I saw this show I decided to stop holding up liquor stores using protractors. Bonus: The stars of this show did made an orgy-filled sex tape. Here's a Safe For Work screen grab.*

Rules of Engagement - "In repeats" "Production status unknown"
I just don't see how this movie spin off could have kept it's core audience. Yet another David Spade vehicle is headed for a traffic collision. It's just too bad. Bonus: Megyn Price was one of television's all-time greatest MILF's on Grounded For Life.

Shark - "In repeats; Off the schedule" "Production status is unknown"
This show has two connections to Entourage:
1. Fuck Jimmy Woods
2. The chick Turtle and Drama double teamed.
Bonus: James Woods on vacation with his lady. (Was I supposed to say something about the show? Oops!)

The Big Bang Theory - "In repeats" "Expected to shoot 5-7 new episodes to air in April/May"
I've seen this show. My roommate insists on watching it despite the fact that it's made us laugh a grand total of 4 times. Maybe it's Kaley Cuoco. I don't know. Maybe I just enjoy jokes like this:

Leonard: [discussing Sheldon's work] At least I didn't have to invent 26 dimensions to get the math to work.

Sheldon: I didn't invent them. They're there.

Leonard: Yeah? In what universe?

Sheldon: In all of them, that's the point!

ROTFLMAO!
Bonus: More Kaley Cuoco!

The Unit - "In repeats" "Production status is unknown"
I decided against Googling "the unit." I do know that Pedro Cerrano is in it.
Bonus: Look, I seriously know nothing about this show except for the fact that Pedro Cerrano is in it. I can't even find evidence of an attractive woman on the show. One interesting tidbit though - Max Martini. (I have no idea if this is Lance's brother.)

Two and a Half Men - "In repeats" "New episodes expected to begin airing in mid-March"
Of all the horrible shows I've never watched, this is the one that gets beat up the most. Maybe its the fact that it's the most popular show in America, yet no one in I really don't like Jon Cryer. I have no idea why. I just find him extremely annoying.

However, as I was surprised to learn that Jon Cryer played Randall Schwab Jr. in the OC and Stiggs movie. (More on that in the future;-) (That was kind of gay...)

Welcome to the Captain - "Premiered Feb 4"
This is why we were wishing the writers' strike would end people. So shows like this could finally be shown! It sounds like a winner to me:

A young writer moves into a legendary Hollywood apartment.

Characters names include: "Josh Flug," "Jesus," "Astrid," "Hope," "Uncle Saul," and of course, "The General." I'm just glad to see that Bob Knight found something to do now that he's not coaching anymore.

Hell, there are even 3 people I've heard of in the cast: Jeffery "Pop-Pop" Tambor, Chris "Suck me beautiful" Klien, and Raquel "Doesn't mover her arms when she dances" Welch. Let me be the first to say that this show is doomed. (Remind me of that in 3 years when it's a critical darling and fan favorite. Bonus: Joanna Garcia or old school Raquel Welch.

Without A Trace - "In repeats" "Expected to shoot several new episodes soon"
It's like CSI, but through the eyes of dead people or something. Bonus: Series star, Poppy Montgomery

*If you didn't see that coming you must be new here.

A Mavrickian E-Mail Scam

Let's take a little look-see at the most intriguing aspect of "The Jason Kidd Trade." On paper this is a tremendous pickup for the Mavericks. They get a past his prime point guard who can't make a jump shot and they only had to give up half their active roster and 2 future first round draft picks.

And they had to sign Keith Van Horn.

To a 4 million dollar contract. From SI.com:

The big winner in this is Van Horn, who has been out of the league the last 11/2 seasons. Dallas still owned his rights, so his involvement is essentially to make the numbers work. He'll be signed then traded -- and, like Kidd, he'll be heading back to his original team. It seems highly unlikely he'll actually play for the Nets.

So...to recap...Devean Goerge used the no-trade clause in his contract which threw a monkey wrench in the plans for the original Kidd trade. Despite the fact that no one wanted George to stay in Dallas (teammates included) he stuck to his guns and refused to be traded.

This results in Keith Van Horn getting 4,000,000 dollars. All he has to do is nothing. He doesn't have to play. From what I understand he doesn't even have to go to New Jersey - where he probably owns a house! He played for the Nets from 1997-2002.

How many times do you think the people from the Mavericks and Nets had to call Van Horn before he let them finish what they were saying?

*ring ring ring*

KVH: Hello?

NBA Executive: Hello, Keith? This is so-and-so from the Mavericks/Nets.

KVH: Oh, hey. How are you?

NBA Exec: Good good. Look, we're trying to put this deal together involving Jason Kidd and the money just doens't work out. Can we sign you to a $4 million dollar contract?

KVH: Excuse me?

NBA Exec: You don't even have to play.

KVH: Who is this? Doleac? Stop calling me man. I don't want to see your stupid fucking championship ring!

NBA Exec: No! Keith, I'm seriou...

*click*

I assume this went on for a few hours and the police had to get involved. Eventually someone said, "No, really Keith - it's been all over ESPN and the internet for days now. Why don't you have cable?" At that point Keith Van Horn would explain that a "high percentage of his budget goes towards hair gel" and the police would leave.

I mean, this has to be the real life equivalent of one of those Nigerian e-mail scams:

Dear Keith Van Horn,

I know that this message will come to you as a surprise. I am the Owner with the Mavericks, of Dallas, Texas. And HDNet.I Hope that you will not expose or betray this trust and confident that I am about to repose on you for the mutual benefit of our both families.

I need your urgent assistance in transferring the sum of ($4)million to your account within 10 or 14 game days. This money has been dormant for years in our Salary Cap without claim.I want the bank to release the money to you as the nearest person to our basketball team without notrade clause, Mr.Devean George who refused trade along with his supposed next of kin in an a contract, he is a deceased to me. Serious, they will fish his body from lake because of his distubrance of transgression.

I don't want the money to go into New Jersey's hand as an abandoned fund. So this is the reason why I am contacting you so that the bank can release the money to you as the next of position to the jerk small forward. Please I would like you to keep this proposal as a top secret and delete it if you are not interested. League offices frown on not sending real player so keep the fact that you will not suite up of the utmost secrecy.

Upon receipt of your reply, I will give you full details on how the trade will be executed and also note that you will have 100% of the above mentioned sum if you agree to handle this business with me.

I am expecting your urgent response as soon as you receive my message.

Best Regard.

Mr.Mark Cuban

That's the last time I ignore an e-mail regarding a bank in Ouagadougou Burkina Faso. I just hope next time the Mavericks need to make an 8 player deal, they contact me.

Wait A Minute - It's Not Friday. It's Not Friday!

OK people. Let's get it together! How the hell did we miss this?

Anytime The Big Lead scoops me on something TGIF-related, there's a problem. I blame myself for not keeping up on my Googling. I suppose if I hadn't already used Christine Lakin 6 7 times I would be more upset.

I have to say that I feel like I'm partially responsible for Christine Lakin's reemergence as a sexual icon. (Warning: The preceding sentence contained hyperbole) Back in June she was just an ex-child star. Now she's staring in movies with Paris Hilton that gross upwards of $25,000 in a single weekend!

And the film currently sports a 1.1 rating at IMDB.com. That right - as of right now, this is the worst movie ever made.

Make no mistake - this is rarefied air that this movie inhabits. There have been some real shitbombs made by Hollywood. Here are some notable titles that have fared better in the eyes of the public than The Hottie and the Nottie:

#4 Who's Your Caddy?

#8 Crossover

#12 SuperBabies: Baby Geniuses 2

#13 From Justin To Kelly

#18 Going Overboard

# 23 Daddy Day Camp

#29 Glitter

#32 Chairman of the Board

#61 Epic Movie

#63 You Got Served

#64 Gigli

Unranked: Rollerball

As you can see, to even be mentioned in the same breath as some of these bombs is an honor within itself.

Great Moments In Consumption: Minor League Hockey Edition

Just a tremendously awesome video that reinforces how awesome hockey players are.



Reminds me of the time I got real drunk off Cape Codders during the Marlins World Series run a few years back. It was during one of the losses and I went a little crazy. I ended up throwing all sorts of shit out the window and broke a bunch of stuff. It didn't look quite that bad, but it was one of those nights that helps you set guidelines as to what alcoholic beverages you should and shouldn't be drinking for entire evenings at a time.

Memories like this and videos like that are what make me resist every time Lauren says something like, "You should drink liquor instead of beer."

I also think back to the Patriots-Panthers Super Bowl where I drank a liter of vodka and in the form of screwdrivers. I'm pretty sure I sat on our bathroom floor for most of the 4th quarter before I finally went into my bedroom to lay down and listen to the game on the radio. Only, I didn't take the time to tune the radio and lay there with static blasting as loud as the stereo would go. One of my roommates came in and asked me to turn it down, but I screamed at him to get out of my room.

The next afternoon I woke up 15 minutes before I had to be at work. Everything was fuzzy - especially my recollection that I imagined Janet Jackson's nipple.

After that you'd run for the soothing embrace of a cool PBR too.

[Video via Fan House]

The Writers' Strike Is Over!: CBS Part I

Since I don't feel like writing about the All-Star weekend festivities, or NASCAR, or hockey...OK, sports in general...I'm going to continue today with the ramifications of the end of the Writers' Strike.

Today I'm going to tackle CBS Part I. I'll even mention both the shows that you've heard of!

First up:

Cane - "In repeats; off the schedule" "Unlikely to return"
For some reason, when you search "Cane" on IMDB.com the first result is 2001's Joy Ride. A couple quick notes about Joy Ride.

It was co-written by LOST creator, JJ Abrams and caught Paul Walker right at the height of his powers - between The Fast and the Furious and 2 Fast 2 Furious. The movie also featured the rhythm guitarist for The Oneders (pronounced "wonders") Steve Zahn and Leelee Sobieski whom I find utterly and unequivocally unattractive.

She's the most plain-looking actress to ever grace a movie screen. I imagine her as the most dull, vapid woman on the planet and I'd sooner smack myself in the face with a frying pan than look at a picture of her for more than 3 seconds.

Oh yeah, apparently Cane is about - and I quote - " A Latino family works together to operate a rum business." Yeah. Thanks, but no thanks. That sounds about as interesting as Leelee Sobieski's face. Bonus: Me not linking to a picture of Leelee Sobieski.

Cold Case - "Last original episode airs Feb. 18" "Production status unknown"
There is an inappropriate joke in my inner-circle of friends about Cold Case that I'm not going to share with you guys. Nothing personal. Bonus: This show features some of the weirdest uses of music...like this sexy music video for CCR's Have You Ever Seen The Rain.

Criminal Minds - "In repeats" "Expected to shoot several new episodes soon."
CBS loves this kind of shit. I swear, every show on this network was somehow inspired by Murder, She Wrote. Bonus: Series regular/star(?) A.J. Cook is a hockey fan.

CSI

CSI: Miami

CSI: New York

I could tell you all three of these derivative shows will be running constantly for the next 16 years. Instead? Proof Jim Carey can still be the man when he wants to:



Ghost Whisperer - "In repeats" "Expected to shoot several new episodes soon"
The tagline for this show should be changed from " The dead are talking...and she is listening" to "Jennifer Love Hewitt is talking...and you're staring at her chest." Bonus: More J-Love

How I Met Your Mother - "In repeats" "Expected to shoot several new episodes soon"
This is a great show. It makes me want to go to the mall.



Bonus: All-growed-up- Scherbatsky

Jericho - "7 episodes premiere Feb 12" "Awaits a renewal decision later this season"
This show has a psycho fan base that send a metric-fuck-ton of peanuts to network executives after the show was originally canceled. Bonus: (Cast member) Ashley Scott and Jessica Alba were in Into The Blue together.

Moonlight - "In repeats" "Will likely return in the fall."
I have never heard of this show. Not once. It's about vampires or some shit. Bonus: Jason Dohring

N.C.I.S. - "In repeats" "Expected to shoot several new episodes soon."
So, this is like CSI on a boat, right? Bonus: Cote de Pablo

Now I have to do some English homework. I'll finish CBS tonight or tomorrow morning. Enjoy the Love Hewitt.