Old People Give Great Advice

What's that? They didn't wear seat belts when you were allowed to drive? What do you mean music was better?

I swear it's not because I just tried to pick up Brad Johnson in one of my fantasy leagues. It's just that, this is a guy who has turned the ball over in something like 18 straight games. He drops the ball more than I (metaphorically) do.

And all because some crazy old man told him he probably could.

After saying he'd try to play, Romo's streak of 32 consecutive starts is now in the hands of Cowboys coaches and medical staff.

Really? 32 games? 2 seasons?

Fuck. You.

Who gives a shit about streaks like that? Oh, well, Ryan Leaf once started 3 straight games! He's so good! So ridiculous.

Romo isn't that good. I don't know if anyone has take the time to watch him play, but the Cowboys continually win in spite of him. (Playoffs excluded!) It could have something to do with the talented offensive line, running backs, wide receivers, tight end and... oh, those are the only positions besides quarterback?

You know how much something has to bother me to get me to blog here two days in a row? What a stupid fucking story. I know I joke, but seriously...

HE CAN'T HOLD ONTO THE BALL WITH 10 FUNCTIONING FINGERS!!!

What Did I Do To Deserve This?

When I saw this rumor floated on Deadspin this afternoon, I almost fainted. The rush of blood to my head was unsettling to say the least. By the time I came to, it was 5pm and it was time to go home. I had forgotten all about it.

Of course, I sat down tonight and clicked over to ESPN. Why?

It's every sports writer's wet dream. Why whatever did Brett say!?

Predictably, Favre advised Romo to do everything possible to avoid the sideline, explaining how he played though the agonizing pain of a fractured thumb to maintain his streak with the Green Bay Packers.

Ed Werder left out part of the conversation. Luckily, I was able to obtain part of the transcript between turnover machines:

Favre: You want to know how to turn the ball over with style and flair, Tony? Romo: Shucks yeah, Brett! *Smiles* Favre: OK, first you play hurt - especially if it's to the detriment of your team. Romo: Golly!

Favre: You play hurt - they'll love ya.

Romo: *Smiles*

Favre: No matter what!

Romo: *Texts Jason Whitten*

Favre: The hometown writers will never write anything like this (or this or this or this) about you again.

Romo: Gosh!

Favre: And the national writers will give you a complete pass. You'll be a gunslinger!

Romo: Sheesh! So no more articles like this?

Favre: You got it!

Romo: Oh, boy! I'm going to have Jess make me a sling.

Aaaaand... scene!

Seriously, Romo already fumbles the ball 4 times a game (not an exaggeration). Can you imagine the damage he'd do with a broken pinkie? The hillbilly would drop his pants every other play if he's got a broken finger.